The fundamental problem with Schapiro's method is that it violates Scripture. Ps. 1:1 says, "How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked." If it is true that those who practice or endorse homosexual sin are wicked individuals, and I believe it is, then it is true that Schapiro has actually sought the counsel of wicked men on the subject of how the Christian community should behave in the area of loving gay couples. Before we even get out of the box, we have a fundamental issue. Specifically, Jeff Schapiro has erred by seeking the counsel of Justin Lee by asking him to define for the church what Christian love toward gay couples looks like. Justin Lee is not qualified to speak about Christian behavior in any sense whatever. He is a wicked man, whose lifestyle and beliefs contradict his Christian claims just as Jesus said in Matthew 7. Hence, it follows that he is hopelessly affected by his unregenerated heart. He is outside the Christian community and has no right to be involved in a conversation regarding Christian ethics. Why Schapiro thinks it is a good idea to ask unregenerate men what regenerated love looks like is puzzling.
In Lee's own view, homosexual marriage is a legitimate expression of genuine love. Scripture refutes this position without ambiguity contrary to Lee's thoughts. Scripture forbids homosexual behavior in any and all circumstances whatever. In other words, there are no contexts in which homosexual behavior is acceptable, good, or viewed as an act of love. Everywhere homosexual behavior is mentioned in Scripture, it is in a very negative context.
Another problem that emerges in Schapiro's article is the suggestion that the church somehow respond differently to gay couples than it does to other sinners. He may not say so, but the underlying current is hard to miss. This, of course, is very consistent with homosexual methods in the rest of the culture. You can murder someone for insulting you but if you do it because they are gay, well, that's worse. The taking of an innocent life is wicked because God places value on human life. That should be enough.
The article says that members of the gay community have been told that they are sinful, but haven't heard much about grace. Perhaps they weren't listening to that part! It is an interesting phenomenon how human beings tend to focus on the negative things that are said and never hear the positive. The fact that this never happens with a homosexual listenting to a sermon is almost laughable.
There is yet another problem with the feedback from the gay community. If you were to listen to a homosexual talk about their experience in church, you would think the pastor preaches against homosexuality almost every weekend. This is absolutely rediculous! I can't even remember if I have ever heard a sermon devoted to the subject of homosexuality in my 33 years as a Christian. In fact, I can't remember the last time I heard a pastor devote even 5 minutes to the subject. It simply isn't the glarring problem within the Christian community that some make it out to be and therefore pastors spend their time on issues that are far more relevant. The inference that homosexuals are afraid to go to church because the church is always harping about gay sex is a figment of someone's imagination. It comes back to the psychological effect of guilt. When you are engaging in an activity that is wrong or that you think others around you think is wrong, your mind can play hyper-sensitive tricks on you. Every reference suddenly becomes a reference to homosexual sin. Everyone is looking at you because you are gay and they don't approve of your lifestyle. These are the kinds of things that naturally flow through all our minds when we are in such a state. But to imply that most Christian communities spend a lot of time talking about homosexual behavior is a sure indication that the people making the accusation have likely not bothered to go and are rather speculating about what it would be like if they actually did attend service.
Schapiro contradicts Ps. 1:1 when he consults with those in the homosexual community to seek their counsel on how to love them. Homosexuals who call themselves gay Christians fall into the category Jesus mentioned in Matthew 7: the ones who call Him Lord but who are clearly not His servants because they do not do the things He said. Everywhere homosexual sin is mentioned in Scripture, it is clearly condemned. Unregenerate men are not qualified to tell us how we should love them. For that answer, we turn to Scripture. Gay couples should be treated no different than any other sinning couple: as sinners who are to be evangelized with the gospel which includes the loving command to repent and believe in Christ. Finally, the Church is no obsessed with homosexuality. The world is. The world is obsessed with forcing the Church to accept homosexual behavior as a normal, healthy expression of love. The Church is bound by Scripture not to do that very thing. In fact, she is bound to do just the opposite. Contrary to what you read in these articles, churches are not running around pounding on the homosexual issue week after week. If there are churches doing that, they are in such a small minority that it would not register on the scale. Don't believe the hype you read in these articles. It is likely part of the secular strategy to use the homosexual issue to intimidate and manipulate the Church into compromising her position on the issue. Stand strong and stay true to Scripture. Stay true to Christ!